Let me guess mama: you find yourself yelling at your kids whenever they get mischievous.
It was not your intention to shout, but it happened so quickly, and you found yourself going tirade.
I’ve been there, and I know how it feels after yelling at your kids whenever they are on the wrong.
We all love our children dearly, and we all want the best for them, including instilling good manners in them.
Disciplining a baby is one of the hardest parts of raising kids.
Kids are just kids, and they end up doing things over and over again despite being told not to do.
As moms, we end up resorting to yelling as the only way of reprimanding them.
However, the good news is that there are other excellent ways of disciplining your kid without yelling.
First, let’s see the effects of yelling at your kids.
The Effects of Yelling at Your Kids
According to research, yelling puts your kid into a “fight, flight or freeze” mode, which is not healthy. Below are some of the effects of screaming.
- Yelling lowers the self-esteem of your child.
- Your child will develop fear that leaves them vulnerable to bullying.
- Yelling worsens the lousy behavior which leads to more yelling.
- It tells your child that yelling to resolve a conflict is okay.
- They will end up yelling at each other as siblings.
How to Discipline a Child Without Yelling
1. Set Clear Rules in Your Home and Let Your Kids Know About Them
It may sound weird to have regulations in your house, but having guidelines will help your kids understand right from wrong.
Stick the rules where kids can see them. To make it more fun and not sound jail-like type of regulations, you can add a consequence of not following a given rule.
For example, “ make sure you make your bed before leaving your room-there will be no tv if you fail to spread your bed.” With that, your child knows the consequences of not tidying up their room.
2. Control Your Emotions
It is quite challenging to keep calm when your child keeps repeating the same mistake time and again.
To help you stop yelling, take time, breathe in and out, and finally tell your kid that whatever they did is wrong. Taking time to think things through will help you convey a solid message that will impact your child positively.
Your child will more likely say sorry and promise you that they will not repeat the mistake in future. Yelling on the other will scare them and fear to assure you that the mistake will not happen again.
3. Learn to Appreciate Good Behaviors
Wouldn’t be good if someone congratulates you for a well-done job? Well, it is the same case for children.
Kids love the attention they will do anything to get your attention.
If your baby shows improvements on his/her behavior, praise them. Reward them and motivate them to keep up the excellent behavior.
I tried this kind of discipline, and it worked like a charm. Appreciate each effort they put in to behave well.
Create a reward system to help your child who is struggling with a specific behavior improve more and more.
4. Focus On the Do’s Not the Don’ts
As moms, we focus more on the things our children should not do instead of shifting that energy to things they should be doing.
Telling your baby not to do something encourages them to do it because as humans, our brains can’t process the word don’t. Instead, it encourages it to do it anyway.
Stop saying “Don’t jump on the couch” and instead tell your little one to sit down because he’ll hurt himself by jumping on the couch.
Also, by focusing on the do’s, your baby will quickly understand why you don’t approve of them doing certain things. “Don’t jump on the couch” sounds like a command without reasons why he/she shouldn’t jump on the couch.
The latter sentence tells your baby the exact cause – he will hurt himself.
Focus on the positive things your baby should be doing. That way, there will be less yelling and more love and bond.
5. Tell Your Kids the Consequences of a Bad Behavior Ahead of Time
Setting clear implications and discussing them with your kids allows them to make good choices.
Tell your children about no-TV-time, no-tablet, no-playing with blocks if you fail to follow the set rules ahead of time.
It will be up to your child to decide if they want to have TV time by doing whatever you tell them to do.
Be consistent and always follow through to make sure that your kids behave well. Remember that what works for one child may not work for the other.
6. Hit the Pause Button Mama
Sometimes you find your child on the wrong, and you aren’t sure of what to do with them. It is at this stage that you are likely to let loose and let out the tirade lady in you.
Breathe in and breathe out, leave the scene, and revisit the mistake later when you are ready to talk without yelling. You don’t want to shout all the time, do you?
If your child doesn’t seem to listen, sit him/her down and talk things out.
Let them tell you what they are feeling and why they are not listening to you. Tell them your expectations and remind them of the set rules.
7. Identify the Reason that Makes You Yell at Your Children
Sometimes it is not that your children are on the wrong.
You might be going through a stressful situation, setting you on a rage of outbursts towards your kids.
Assess yourself and find out if you are going through a difficult moment.
Learning the reason behind your anger and verbal outburst will help you manage the situation efficiently. Every time you are about to yell, do the simple trick-breath in and out, and handle the situation.
8. Apologize for Yelling
Sometimes, mama, you find yourself yelling by default. You didn’t mean to shout at your kids, but you found yourself doing so.
A simple “I’m sorry for yelling at you” will let your child know that you didn’t mean to shout, but their behavior made you do so.
Also, it teaches them that saying sorry is a good thing to do when you are in the wrong no matter who you are.
After saying sorry, go ahead and discuss your child’s behavior and let them be aware that it is not acceptable. Remind your child that you love him/her and you always want the best for them.
You Can Discipline Your Kids Without Yelling
Listen, mama! You are not a bad mom for yelling, and neither are you a failed mom. You are just an imperfectly perfect mama who wants the best for their children.
We all have our shortcomings but let’s embrace the positive parenting and bring up our kids in the best way possible because we love them.
Hopefully, the above tips will help you discipline your kids without yelling.
Do you have other excellent tips that have helped you discipline and instill good behavior in your kids without yelling? Share them with us.