Have you ever just had one of those days?
A day when you question where you may have gone wrong? I definitely have them from time to time.
Sometimes when I have what I think is a great idea, and then it turns into a big fail.
Sometimes when I feel like I just got it all together, and then the rug is pulled out from under me.
And sometimes when one of my kids, who I feel are my greatest projects ever, does something completely unexpected.
Well I remember it was one of those days.
I was sitting at the kitchen counter with my littlest.
It was a few weeks before she had to start kindergarten.
She was using crayons to color a picture in an activity book we were working through together.
Was the kid using different colors on each portion of the picture, and coloring in the lines?
No, she was not.
She had taken one color and scribbled out of the lines over the entire picture, most likely to get the thing done as quickly as possible.
I also realized at that moment she wasn’t using a “normal” three-finger grasp on the crayon.
Thoughts That Went Through My Head
As I sat there, my mind started to wonder.
Did I not spend enough time coloring with this last one?
Was this one getting a raw deal in the attention department? Did I constantly rush her from place to place, so now she has learned to rush through everything?
I thought to myself, had I been busier and more stressed when this one was a toddler?
I was juggling a job, spending a lot of time helping with my aging parents, running her older siblings to sports and piano practices, and trying to maintain a household. We’ve all been there, right?
Had this littlest one somehow gotten the shaft out of all of this? I began feeling like a total and complete #momfail right then and there.
But then, still sitting there, reflecting, something occurred to me.
Are my kids going to be carbon copies of me? I should hope not! 😉
A Bit About Me
I am by nature a procrastinator and not at all a morning person.
Always have been, and unfortunately probably always will be. I am also a perfectionist, however, I feel that plays into my lifetime of procrastination.
Putting things off, waiting for the right moment when I can have enough time to do the job perfectly. Bags of projects are waiting to be put together in my dining room.
Loads of thrifted items are sitting in my garage waiting for me to clean them up and paint them. I also have basketfuls of laundry staring at me right now, oh, and a sink full of dishes too.
I may be able to color a picture perfectly, but it may very well take me a week or more to finish it.
A Bit About My Daughter
My daughter, however, is not a procrastinator like me. She is a get the job done kind of gal.
The moment that dryer timer goes off, she’s right there ready to help with folding the laundry.
She wakes up bright and early (always has), and wants to get projects finished and her work done. I am terrible at math, and she is super quick in figuring out math problems and counting.
Maybe she rushes through some things like coloring, but by darn, she gets that page colored! She is more organized at this age than I will probably ever be.
She packs her own book bag in the morning, gets herself dressed, and is ready to go out the door before any of us. A go-getter by nature and her willingness to help others is just beautiful to see.
A good thing to remember (myself included), is that although we can see many of our traits in our children, they are not carbon copies of us.
You may have been a sports fanatic baseball star, but your kid may be a musically gifted concert pianist. You may have been a daredevil risk-taker, but your kid may be cautious and responsible.
And you may be a perfect picture colorer like myself, and your kid may be a whiz at math.
Look for all the good stuff in your children, don’t focus on how they may be different from you. Look for their talents and strong points, and help them to nurture those talents.
Marvel at their uniqueness and admire the qualities that they possess, and you may not. And one last thing, don’t be too hard on yourself either. It’s a busy world, and we mamas are all doing the best we can every day for our children and our families.
The Why Behind This Mom Story
So why did I want to tell this story?
Well, if I know other mamas out there, I’m sure they’ve had similar feelings to the ones that I listed above.
Did I do something wrong, was I too busy to make enough time for my kids, do they know deep down that they are the most important little beings in my world?
Because I’ve had all of those thoughts, plus many more.
Our children are our greatest accomplishments and we’ve put a heck of a lot of time into them!
We want them to be perfect little people, always excelling at all the things, always being kind, always doing the right thing.
But you know what, no human being is perfect. We all mess up from time to time. That’s how we learn. We are all good at different things, if not the world would be a pretty boring place. We are all made to be imperfectly unique. and that’s just as it should be.