Loving yourself is not an option, it’s PRIORITY!!!
All dear mommies reading this, just take your warm cup of tea, curl your legs, find your favorite spot on couch or favorite chair, close your eyes and take a deep breath.
Now, slowly open them and gaze into empty space remembering those childhood days when you were just you.
You didn’t have a job, no bills to pay, no household chores to do, no where to be, when our biggest trouble was our next school assignment or tests, when we were not anyone’s wife or mother.
Remember your childhood’s happiest memory and the second that smile spreads on your face, hold on to that moment.
Now, come back to present and think how can you be that happy once again.
Be relaxed and chilled out the way we used to be when we were kids.
Kids are amazing because they love themselves. They care about their happiness without even knowing it.
They are best at self care regime.
They laugh when they want to, cry or shout when they want to. They live life in the moment, instead of bottling every emotion inside. Taking cues from our childhood, we need to go back to basics and find our happiness.
Let’s be honest; kids are prettiest because they are the happiest. Let us bring back those simple thing like giggling and gossiping with our friends or doodling, little activities that used to cheer us up.
Our self care regime doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated.
Self care is not just buying latest makeup or upgrading our wardrobe or stocking up shoes that look too pretty but are damn uncomfortable or body weight and skin type.
It is our whole total being – face, body, heart, mind and soul.
So, here are few of my tips that have worked for me so far. Best part is most them are absolutely FREE.
I hope it works for you as well.
Dancing has stayed with me ever since I can remember.
I remember dancing when I was happy, sad or angry. Music would change, steps would change, my emotions would change but I never stopped dancing.
I am no Shakira but I dance to make my heart happy. It always works.
I must be in school, when I was going through usual teenage emotional roller coaster and nothing around me was making sense.
One of the best ideas I ever had was to discuss this with my school counselor. She understood I wasn’t comfortable talking about particular instances out loud, so, she suggested I write.
Since then till date, when nothing works, when there were days I wanted to just get up and disappear or not exist at all, my pen has saved me.
My pen, my diary & my thoughts have got me through really tough times. Nothing feels better when you pour your heart out.
Talking about pouring your heart out, I feel there should be at least one person on this planet, who can talk to you and whom you can talk to.
No judgment, no prejudice, no fear just trust. I mean that kind of acceptance is like soothing music to your heart. If you have that one person never let them go.
4. Try to Be Positive
It doesn’t mean that I am standing in front of a fast train and being positive that I will not get killed.
It means, no matter what the situation you are in right now, it won’t stay like this forever. This too shall pass.
It is just the matter of time. Just be positive you will get through. Take one day at a time.
5. Don’t Be in Denial
Acknowledging your situation and making peace with it is really important for your mental wellbeing.
If you are happy with how things are, enjoy it.
If not, accept the situation and start working on the plan to change it. Eg: during recession I lost my job and no one was hiring.
I knew I had responsibilities and not having job was not an option. I sat down, thought of what all I can do.
I remember calling my college professor and asked for his advice, he asked me if I would like to teach, I was just 23!!!
I thought about it for a day and decided to go for it. It’s not just about the money, the fact, I took control over my situation was really empowering.
6 Bad Experiences Are the Best Lessons
Always remember two simple things – “learn and move on.” Have smaller goals. Small steps cover large distances.
I am not saying ignore your hurtful emotions.
There is no way you can hide from them. Let it run it course but don’t flow with it.
Know your mind can tell you worst or best things. But it should be you commanding your thoughts not your mind.
I feel extremely grateful for my teacher, who taught us how to meditate when we were little kids.
I have been able to sustain a lot hardships due to meditation. I know for a fact that we all have happy, free spirited souls. We just need to be in connection with it.
Meditation is a way to start.
I love how when I am standing in front of an ocean, its salty earthy fragrance, live music played by the waves, beautiful master piece of colorful sky, they all bring me closer to my soul.
I can feel my soul clapping it’s hands in ecstasy. For you, it can be soaring mountains or a calm lake but whatever it is, stay connected with nature, stay connected with your soul.
9. Love, Laugh, Live, Forgive
Irrespective of how simple these words sound, they are most difficult to execute.
But try! Practice! Practice to love when it is difficult, laugh through the pain ( because both shall pass), make choices good or bad and live them.
But most importantly forgive, forgive yourself & people who hurt you.
Forgiveness is the way of breaking shackles tying your soul down. Let your soul be free from baggage of wrongdoings.
I am not asking you to turn into some great spiritual guru. All I am saying is, FORGIVE, so you don’t become a bitter person. Do these for yourself.
I don’t work out for hot summer body, it’s not a trend for me it’s way of life.
A walk, Zumba, weights, aerobics or anything else that works for you. Trust me once you start, you’ll never get enough.
11. Warm Baths
When you have had the craziest day, that’s all you need. Boss going mad, kids not listening to you or fight with a husband. A bad day is both physically and mentally exhausting.
Taking yourself away from the situation for sometime and then facing it with positive mindset is the best approach.
So, light those candles, pour yourself a glass of wine, run a warm bath, add some essential oils or half a cup of milk with any flower available at home and just soak in blissfulness of a warm bath.
Feel your whole being relaxing.
12. Good Food
Eat what makes you feel good.
I can give you a great lecture on eating healthy etc etc. I am sure you know it all but it’s one life and like a great man once said, “ life is too short to avoid chocolates.”
Having said that, indulging is a yummy desert is one thing and cracking on junk food is another. You are what you eat. Read the labels before you buy your food. Eat healthy.
Cooking for me can be therapeutic as well, seeing ingredients taking shape of yummy food, makes you feel hard work always pay off.
Avoid junk, processed and frozen food.
Most beautiful jewel or best beauty treatment out there is absolutely free of cost: “ SMILE.”
Smiling brings out your eyes, uplift your face and brightens your whole aura. Smile often and let those laughing lines show.
My grandma used to say there is certain beauty in kind people, which is ageless.
Kindness builds a cover of calmness around, it enhances your allure, attracts good people towards you and gives you glow that it can shine like a bright star in a dark sky.
15. Herbal and Organic Face Masks
By staring above things I don’t mean you should not take care of your skin.
They say you should take care of your skin, you have to live in it your whole life. Try and use organic herbal ingredients to make fresh face masks.
It can be fruits, grains or dairy based. Keep natural. Because aging is inevitable but aging gracefully is in your hands.
Some Beauty tips from kitchen
Face Mask: Mix sandalwood powder with rose water and a pinch of turmeric. This herbal face massage leaves your face soft, supple, even skin and enjoy lingering sweet fragrance of sandalwood.
Hair Mask: Mix one egg in yogurt along with few drops of lemon plus coconut oil. This is a natural conditioner. Egg conditions your hair, yogurt strengthens them, oil gives moisture to dry hair and lemon takes off egg’s smell plus in summer it keeps your scalp dandruff and itch free.
Body scrub: Mix gram flour with curd, pinch of turmeric and 2 small spoons of rose water along with lemon. Use it scrub your body and get rid of dead skin naturally.
Taking care of yourself or self care is first step towards being a happy mom, happy wife, happy friend or just a happy person.
These steps are not easy but something which is worth it, is never easy. So take care mommies and love yourself.