How to Support Your Husband as a New Dad

Okay mamas! You have done the hardest job of all.

You delivered a precious baby after carrying for 10 whole months. You’ve endured morning sickness, night sweats, and heartburn.

You haven’t had a good night’s sleep, a shower, or a good meal in DAYS! You have put all of your energy into taking care of this brand new baby.

It can be easy to feel like you have nothing left to give to anyone else.

Let’s face it, you probably don’t, and that’s okay. So, how can you support your husband as a new dad when you feel like you are hardly getting by?

You might be surprised by some of the answers I got from some new dads.

In fact, the number one response I got is something that might even help YOU out. So here we go, ten ways to support your husband as a new dad.

1. Give Him Opportunities to Bond

The overwhelming majority of dads said they would like more opportunities to bond with the baby.

Many times, especially if mom is breastfeeding, the mom takes on all things baby, while she has dad fetch, change, cook, make, clean, etc… Talk with your husband about things he could do to bond with the baby.

Maybe he gives baths, rocks the baby to sleep after a feeding, or does tummy time activities.

The point is, don’t automatically assume all responsibility for the baby just because you are the main source of food! Find something your husband can do with the baby, and let him do it!

2. Provide Direction

Your husband may not have those innate motherly instincts that you do (surprise, surprise)!

While some things seem like common sense to you, they may have to be learned by your husband.

Give him some grace if these things don’t come naturally to him. Give him gentle suggestions like, “Maybe WE should try…” or “I wonder if…would help?”

3. Tell Him What You Need

This may seem strange on a post about supporting your husbands needs. However, believe it or not, your husband wants the best for you and the baby.

He wants to help you in any way he can. Sometimes he just needs you to tell him what you need! Again, they are learning and they can’t read your mind.

If there is something you really want your husband to start doing, don’t stew about it, just tell him! Chances are he will be happy to help.

4. Be Patient

Remember, your husband is learning just like you are. Be patient and sit back and enjoy. Enjoy watching your husband become a daddy. Don’t expect him to figure it out overnight.

5. Give Encouragement

When my husband became a new dad, the hardest thing for him was feeling like he couldn’t soothe the baby when she was upset.

He would become frustrated when he would try to soothe the baby and it wouldn’t work.

Then he would hand her to me and she would stop. He felt like there was no point in even trying. This is where you come in. T

his is the time for you to point out what a good job he is doing with the baby. Thank him for all that he does for you and the baby and encourage him to keep trying.

6. Listen to His Suggestions

While you may feel you are having to give your husband A LOT of direction in some areas, give him some credit. Sometimes they have good ideas. 😉

One night, I was at my wits-end when my colicky 3 month old.

She would scream through the entire night. I wasn’t getting sleep and had no idea how to comfort her when she was like this. I woke my husband up, desperate for some relief from the crying-baby duty. My husband suggested trying a pacifier.

Of course I said no, because that can lead to orthodontic problems and cause nipple confusion and…Well, my daughter finally stopped crying and when I looked up, there she was sucking away on her pacifier.

After that night, we knew where her pacifier was at all times and she slept like a little champ.

I thank God my husband didn’t listen to me! 🙂

7. Work as a Team

Remember you two are in this together through thick and thin.

As time goes by you will fall into a routine of doing things, each of you better at some things than others. Allow him to help you in any way possible and do the same for him.

8. Trust Him

Show your husband you trust him to take care of the baby.

Allow him chances to take care of the baby without chiming in your two-cents every five minutes.

If you know the baby needs to be fed, changed, or go to sleep try to keep quiet and let him figure it out. I promise, he will!

9. Ask Him How You Can Help Him

Talk with your husband. Ask him how HE is doing.

This whole thing has been about you and the baby, and so many times, dads get left out. If your husband has gone back to work, ask him how it is going.

10. Let Him Know You Appreciate Him

Tell your husband constantly how much you appreciate him! Not only will he feel like you notice his efforts, but most likely it will encourage him to keep it up!

These are all tips given to me by new dads. (A special thanks to all of the dads that provided input!) My hope is that they will help parents through this time of transition to a family of 3. Happy Parenting! 🙂

Have any more tips to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below!

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About The Author

I'm married to a wonderful man who also happens to be an exceptional daddy. I am a mama to two precious babies. I decided to become a stay-at-home mom a few years ago after years of teaching.

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You lost me at 10 months 🤣Reply to 9
Going the full 40 weeks is actually 10 months. You’re “9 months pregnant” from weeks 36-40, so by the end you’ve been carrying for 10.Reply to Kacie
I can feel you on the paci thing! I was against it for the longest time, but my husband just went with it and then it saved us so much crying! AND we never had any breastfeeding problems which was awesome!Reply to Jess
From the day our kids were born my husband read them Bible stories every night and prayed over them they have so many special memories that he is writing a book for the grandchildren I would encourage allthe the new Dad’s and Mom’s to enjoy every presious moment even the late night feeding because pretty soon they’ll be feeding themselves walking and talking going off to school involved in activities learning to drive prom off to college falling in love and getting married and having children of their own remember every moment it’s an investment for their future and laying down the foundation and the building blocks for their children and your family line what do you want to invest ?Reply to Kathryn
As a dad who had to work six days a week and restraunt hours not only did I feel left out but in the first six months I was only really around a total of 30 days. I did as much as I could to help out and bonding with my son was slow going. He was very dependant on his mom. I tried not to take his not latching to me right away as a “my fault” thing. Right before his mom decided to leave me 2 months ago we were just starting to get to know each other. I guess she just didn’t have the patience for he and I to get comfortable enough for him when he was just beginning to trust his dad. He turns 1 in a few days and I haven’t as much received a call or a picture of my sunshine. It really hurts and has left a huge hole. I having trouble because nothing can fill the void its left. So if your a expecting mother and reading this. Please be patient. If your man stood by you in your pregnancy and through the birth. Remember your man loves you enough to be patient with you. return the favor and be patient with him.Reply to Pray4reconcile
Thank you for sharing that. I’m a big advocate for dads who want to be an active part in their child’s life. I wish you a lifetime of bonding with your son.Reply to Sofia
Thank you so much for this post!! #5 is so fitting for us right now, as my husband can never calm our 2 month old son. As soon as I hold him and he smells me or hears me he calms down. Any tips on how to help my husband with this??Reply to Carrie
We had this problem and found that we could solve it best together. When he is holding our daughter trying to soothe her (after he has gone through the list) I will just make myself known to her. I will give Dad a hug with her in the middle or make her favorite shushing sound from across the room. Sometimes I rub her back. It only took me 3 or 4 times helping dad this way and now he can soothe her all on his own. She learned to trust him and he learned to hold/ sound more like me. It worked wonderfully. Good luck.Reply to Jane
Great ideas! It is so important for our relationships that we remember our partners have needs, too.Reply to Tarsha