Motherhood is like getting on a never ending roller coaster ride – it has highs and lows, some of it you will love and if you are an honest mama some of it you will hate.
Before becoming a mum I didn’t know you could love and hate all at the same time.
I will always love my children but some days being honest you just want to walk away, but we won’t… because as hard as motherhood is… we love it.
I remember hearing things like – get as much sleep as possible before they arrive because you won’t get it when they get here.
Or go to the movies, get your nights out now because you won’t when they get here etc. but none of this is good advice.
No matter how much sleep you get or how many nights out you get, none of that will give you solace once they arrive.
So five years into my motherhood journey here are five things I wish I had known before becoming a mum.
Five things that if I had known sooner would have given me peace of mind along the way, especially in the early days.
1. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s actually a sign of strength that you know you need help or that you need to recharge so that you can do an even better job.
2. It’s Important to Set Boundaries
It is more than OK to decide what is acceptable and what is not acceptable when it comes to other people. Saying no and setting boundaries is perfectly OK and important to do, so that you protect yourself, your family and your space.
3. It’s OK Not to Be OK
Motherhood is hard and sometimes we just aren’t OK.
Sometimes we just aren’t able to cope. We are humans trying to do our best and sometimes we just can’t keep up with our own expectations of what that looks like. There is no shame in it.
Talk to someone you trust about how you feel, ask for help and seek medical advice when needed.
4. Motherhood Will Change You
No matter how hard to try to hold on to who you were before, it will change you.
This is a good change though because this change is about growth. You have grown as a person and your values have changed.
What was important to you before may change and how you see the future may change but this is good. Embrace it because holding onto the person you were before will hold you back.
Don’t get me wrong, you will bring with you all the good things and all your strengths but some of the stuff doesn’t need to move into motherhood with you, so let it go…
5. The Power of Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is stronger than you can imagine.
You will question everything. You will question your questions.
Mama guilt is the source of all evil and most of the time, completely unnecessary but it seems to come with the territory so learn to question it… and if you can’t be rational about something run it past someone else, a partner, a parent, a friend, someone who you trust to be honest with you.
Don’t drive yourself to crazy – you’ve got this.
You love your kids and have their best interests at heart so breathe and try to rationalize and remember you are doing a great job.
There is a saying out there that it takes a whole village to raise a child – so remember you’re not meant to be able to do it all on your own.
Motherhood is the hardest and yet most rewarding role we will ever have so remember even on the hard days that you’ve got this.
I hope these five tips will help make your motherhood journey that little bit easier and you feel that little bit stronger.
I can’t help you with the sleepless nights that you might be going through but I can tell you that one day soon you will notice that they are finally sleeping – everything works itself out in time.
Remember: You’ve got this, you’re doing an amazing job.
Enjoy the roller coaster ride of motherhood.